I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
