Swine flu. Run for my life!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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