you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you traded sex for a burrito?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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