I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
