So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize