Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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