I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
