He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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