found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize