I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
