shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
