I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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