thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
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