I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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