Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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