break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Who died my cat blue again?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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