HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She announced her abortion via fbk
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
