I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I bet he comes in French.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
