Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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