Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
