I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
