careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
