I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
