I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
