I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
