we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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