Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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