can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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