I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize