If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
