After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
