last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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