sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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