My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
