Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
