whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
