Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
