and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
