He disabled his match.com account in front of me
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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