Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
how does that bad decision feel?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
