K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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