Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
