Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
