Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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