i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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