you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
