remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
