Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
