I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
