never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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