Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
