Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
