We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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