this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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