Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
