she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
