So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
