we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
