basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
