Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize