Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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